Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
