a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
