barbara walters just said penis...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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