I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
