The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
