btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I came so hard my ears popped.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
