If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Non-Jews are for practice
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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