i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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