piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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