why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
