Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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