we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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