a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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