girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
