he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
