We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
