my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
