I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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