I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
