he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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