wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
