great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
