So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
