and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
from now on my penis is your penis
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
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I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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