so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
