we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
