Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
