i already hear my dad disowning me
only if we run a train.
done.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
