I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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