when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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