I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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