I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
