His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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