Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
