He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
