weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
