i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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