fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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