I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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