Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
