And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
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It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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