I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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