My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He kissed a someone with a penis
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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