i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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