i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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