dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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