I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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