ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
