I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
