my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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