I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
