how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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