peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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