Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
