we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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