I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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