I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
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I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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