That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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