So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
