Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
